You want a girl ?

So after joining the new college I figured out something about my new classmates and I will be generalizing now. Little background- my class has approx only 20 people from Bangalore/Karnataka while everyone else is either from Gujarat/Bihar. I have nothing against these states ,in fact I know some awesome people from such places through Twitter.  So this post is dedicated to all those people from other states who came/want to come- to Bangalore for college.

1)Don’t come for “chicks”

Almost every guy in my class openly admits they came from their states to find girls in Bangalore. I really don’t understand why. There aren’t many girls here to share with everyone. And it’s not cool to admit that “I want a girlfriend” , “I want to get laid”   etc in front of the whole class, you are just ruining the tiny chance you have. Nobody wants a desperate guy who just openly admits it to people like girls are some material to possess or capture like a pokemon( Tell all these to your guy friends). I am not making up stuff right now to sound funny or to mock anyone all these have happened.

2) This is NOT America/Europe

You can’t buy a girl drinks and expect her to come home with you. This is another big mistake my poor classmates make. It’s not easy to get a girl here nor is it easy to get a girl anywhere in India. And trying to get a girl drunk to take advantage of her also doesn’t work, what will happen is they will accept the drinks, and then tell what you just tried to do to all their friends and you will be the “weird desperate guy”. To get a girl try asking her out somewhere and get to know her, you will know if it works out. Also don’t text a girl unless she gives you her number, meaning – Don’t stalk her and find her number and text her “gud nit :*” everyday.

3) Learn English.

This is the most important. Most of you( north indians) look like studs and some cool fellows until you start speaking. ENGLISH! Learn it and use it. And please don’t tell that “Hindi is the national language ” bullshit. People will spit paan on you. This is the South, most of us just survive with english and broken local language. But some of my classmates realized this and are truly making an effort to learn the language/improve , kudos to them.

4) Talk to others

I am not an introvert, I know it when people just don’t socialize. I would have really loved it if everyone just spoke to each other instead of forming groups with people from their own states , I can totally understand the reason but it will be better if you give everyone a chance . Otherwise there will be a few groups and will miss out on some great friends and that also means no fun.

5) Drink if you enjoy.

Don’t drink to look cool. Because it’s not. I am partially an alcoholic and I drink because I like it. There will be people who might keep asking you to drink with them but learn to say No and you will earn respect. People like me will always call you to socialize and to get company if you don’t want to then say No. Again don’t tell to the whole class that ” I want to enjoy pubs and girls”.  Also if some girl says she drinks and if you dn’t or find it slightly shocking kindly don’t express it. They will laugh at you.

 

I don’t know if all these makes sense or if it will actually help anyone. I have observed worse – like this guy telling everyone that his “long term goal in life” is to find a beautiful,exotic,caring darling girlfriend.  People already were joking about him being gay because of the way he dresses and after this revealtion no girl in her right sense will go for him and he just invited every troll in the class to pick on him. Or this another guy ( I will put it in a better format)-

Life Goal Session Coordinator – “So what’s your goals in this college”

Weirdo- ” I want loads of frandaz, I want to have gang, I want to be the leader of gaaang. I want to be a gangstaaaa ”

I really don’t think anyone will actually speak to people who scream such stuff. I already saw people mocking him today and the poor fellow had no clue what he did wrong.

In short- Be normal, learn english ,take things smoothly and don’t throw attitude. And don’t trust girls 😉

And alcohol is not the solution to any problem it’s just something which will help you to chill out with your friends and blurt out stuff you wish you hadn’t ,all the while when your organs are getting raped.